Living in Mumbai as a Western ex-pat can stop you
dead in your tracks. One minute you feel proud to
have taken the chance to step outside of your sphere
and see parts of the world so different from what you
are used to. Then you encounter something so foreign
to your own culture that you don't know how to cope
and just want to run home. Avoidance can be a very
comfortable blanket against the inequities of life.
Over the weekend we shopped at the mall for what,
at the time, seemed like necessities ... pots,
luxury food items, socks, a toy for our baby. We
also ate lunch there, splurging for mountains
of food at TGIFs ... we both desperately missed
food from home so this was our only option. We
ordered too much food and couldn't finish it all
so we left 2 mini burgers, 2 chicken breasts, and
a pile of vegetables. We left the restaurant and
piled in to the van for the trip home when reality
slapped me in the face. As we waited at a red light
thin young women holding emaciated babies knocked
on our windows, begging for money. A little girl no
older than my own ran through the cars also begging.
I lowered my head in shame - for foreigners are told
not to give money to beggars because they are organized
and in many cases injuries and permanent damage to
limbs is sometimes deliberate to induce pity and
thus promote charity. As I thought of how much I spent
shopping and how much food I'd left on the table
I felt more and more embarrassed. A sharp rap on my
window yanked me out of my thoughts and I turned to see
a young woman holding a tiny baby. the baby had
a white bandage around her head and blood seeped through
the cotton bandage. The lady looked at me, no word
uttered, just a look in her eyes asking for help for
her baby.
So what did I do? Nothing. Every reference to
tourists emphasizes that giving money to people on
the streets is ineffective and promotes an
organized operation. Online charity to reputable
organizations is my only option - but how can this
ever balance the embarrassed shame I feel when I see
these women and babies? Since that day I haven't stopped
thinking of that baby and her Mommy. I regret not
giving them a helping hand. I should have packed them
in the car and driven them both to the hospital ...
so why didn't I? Because it would have inconvenienced
me and my family? Because I didn't think of it? Instead
I wept all the way home which served no purpose to
anyone.
So now I think of humanity and what it means. I thought
I was humane, but obviously I am not. Unless humane
means you empathize but do nothing. I think of how
the commitment to family blurs to the commitment to
others - where does one priority outweigh the other?
I'm not sure - I just know it was wrong of me to leave
the lady and her poor baby alone on the street and I
don't think I'll ever reconcile myself to my actions.
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3 comments:
{hugs} to you, mama.
Don't think, though, that your weeping and empathy don't count for anything. When we put out that kind of loving energy into the universe, it does eventually settle on someone who needs it.
I'm thinking about you and your family.
Love you!
it sounds like you'll have other opportunities to do something differently, if that's what you decide you need to do.
i have a philosophy class i'm teaching with 8 to 11 year olds. i told them yesterday to write down the one question they'd most like to have answered. one of my kiddos wrote down "why is there misery in the world?" he's ten.
i'll be thinking about you mama. and all those mamas out there. <3
Some pretty intense comments you have there. It is amzing to go outside your comfort zone and be where life and culture are so diffent. but it makes you appreciate what you have and what you can give to those in this universe. I have a bicultural,biracial family deal with many issues being in the great south who still hve not gotten over the north beating them in the civil war. but I do what I can because I believe very strongly in the rights of others, and especially in the us where ther is no excuse.. I write many blogs on myspace. I am very verbal but humbled to by what others go through that we have and take for granted ya know. I what you have done with your undated travels in India and your experiences, it is wonderful and inspirational and educational! keep it going....joann
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